What information should co-parents share, and what should remain private?

Each parent keeps their own private household: their chores, their grocery list, their calendar, their new partner, their kids' routines in that house. Between the two households sits a co-parenting space that belongs to both parents equally. The space holds only what is put in it. It cannot look inside either household, and a household cannot quietly pull data back out of the space.

Your new partner never sees the other home. The other home never sees yours. That is not a setting somebody has to remember to keep; it is how a space works.

The schedule is the one thing both homes must agree on, so it lives in the space and, once both parents have joined, takes effect only after both countersign it, per child. A schedule set up before the other parent joins is in force on one signature and recorded that way. A one-off swap goes through the same countersign: it is a proposal until the other parent approves, then it is locked and lands on the calendar on its own. Every agreed version is kept.

Custody days flow to each parent's calendar and Today view, so the kids and both parents know where they are without anyone asking. That is sharing the schedule. It is not sharing the calendar. What else is on each parent's calendar stays in that parent's household.

Log a cost with a photo of the receipt, split it evenly, by exact amounts, or by the percentages you have agreed per category, and request reimbursement through the same two-party approval. A running settle-up balance keeps score so nobody has to.

The line to hold: the kids' expenses go in the space. Each parent's own finances, budget, and bills stay in their own household, where the other parent has no view.

The custody agreement, insurance cards, consent forms, sizes, allergies, doctors, and school contacts belong in one vault both parents can read and write. Family Records holds them, flags anything with an expiry date before it lapses, and is adults-only: children in either home see none of it.

What does not belong there: either parent's own documents, and anything about the new partner or the other household's members.

Handoff notes ('she has a cold, the antibiotic is in the bag, last dose at 4') go in the space next to the schedule. Messages between the parents go through the space's Messages: sent messages cannot be edited or deleted, timestamps are set by the server, and either parent can export the messages with the custody record as one document.

The point of messages that cannot be rewritten is that it takes the argument about what was said off the table for both parents equally. It also means the space is the wrong place for anything you would not want read back later, which is the right instinct for co-parent communication anyway.

Each household's calendar beyond custody days. Its chores, meals, and routines. Its finances beyond the shared kids' expenses. Its location sharing, which is a household feature that a space has no window into. Its other adults. The default answer to 'should the other parent see this' is no, and the structure makes no the default: something is shared by putting it in the space, and nothing else.

Both parents are equal stewards of the space. Deleting it, removing a member, or demoting the other parent requires the other household's approval. Once both households have joined, installing or removing an app, suspending one, or shortening how long records are kept all need both parents to approve, and removing a record app archives it rather than deleting its records. Neither parent can unilaterally erase the shared history.

One parent sponsors the space from their plan and the other joins free, so there is no per-parent subscription and no question of who is paying for whose access.

• Co-Parenting
• Expense Splitter
• Family Records
• Calendar
• Packing Lists

Every app in the library is included with the household plan. Install the ones this guide uses and skip the rest.

• The co-parenting apps compared, by what each is for
• 2-2-3, 2-2-5-5, alternating weeks: the custody schedules, explained
• Splitting the kids' expenses between two households without fighting
• Seven questions to ask any family app before you put your household in it